May 24th 2008 was my wonderful day because it was my sweet seventeen birthdays. I was so happy because I could celebrate my day with my beloved people. I didn’t held a big party with invited many person, but I just celebrate it with my big lovely families. My birthday was held on Saturday night. We went to a big restaurant and ordered a large place. I was very happy because not only my family but also my beloved boyfriend was there. I felt my families were so complete. In that restaurant, I could choose any food that I want to ate. I was ordered so many kinds of food. Our dinner was started with a pray. My father was lead the pray and he was pray for me. After pray, we ate our dinner.
Then after our dinner was finished, we went to a place where sold many kinds of foods. We just had a walk for a moment then we prepared to go home. It was my happy day because I could my wonderful day with my wonderful families. I hope I can celebrate my next birthday with my families again.
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Hai, Aria..
BalasHapusNice to see you anymore in your blog...
I'm risma, your teacher of past narrative..
Still remember me, right..
Okay, Aria, you said that your birthday is May 24th, and now it is April.. So, well even though it is very late (really late actually), HAPPY BIRTHDAY for you..
Hope you always get what you want especially your dream..
Okay, lets see your writing
I see taht your writing have a good side like your other friends that you separated the two big events into two different paragraphs (eating and walking). That makes me easy to follow your sequence.
I also noted some thing here from your writing to remind you about the grammar, just for a feedback from me to you:
1. "I didn’t held a big party with invited many person"
The word " with invited many person" possess as adverb of way, right. So, it would be better if you replace it with # by inviting many person#
Why using " by"? cause this is a way or how you do that act
why using " inviting"? Well, because there is not subject and verb there, so "invite" here as gerund that must be add by verb-ing.
2. "that I want to ate."
First it's about past tense matter, therefore you should change " want" into # wanted#.
Second about to infinitive, remember that you have to use verb1 after to..
so, the sentence must be # to eat#
3. "I was ordered so many kinds of food."
Here, you meant that you, the person, who ordered the food, right .. not the food which ordered you..
So, the sentence must be # I ordered so many kinds of food#
4. "he was pray for me"
I think here the activity is your father prayed for you, tight. So pray here is the verb not as object because the word " was " has function as auxiliary verb.
So, the sentence must be # he prayed for me#
Okay, I think that's all from me..
And you can also ask your friend to have more editing for your writing.
If you still have many questions, just leave that in my blog..
Okay, Aria..bye..bye..bye..